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I am alive. Just busy keeping busy.

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Five Months Pt 2

These photos were taken between August and October 2011…and I cry…I can’t help it.

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Our first week back in Cooktown. Kieth & Sal from the Sovereign Resort put us up for a week.

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Just before She shaved My head ๐Ÿ™‚

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Two of our dear friends showed us the North end track into Walker Bay beach. For those of you used to urban beaches, this spot is 4wd only, you rarely see anyone else, and the beach itself is 30 metres away from this naturally grassy spot. Thickets of beach shrubs & sheoaks break up the breeze. A beautiful place.

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Tinas Nom Nom Paw-Paw (papaya). Beautiful sweet & juicy, tree ripened. You haven’t tasted pawpaw until you’ve eaten it this fresh.

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Being a tourist.

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My baby never was comfortable in front of a camera. She tolerated my requests on rare occasions. I should have kept taking photos of Her, but it was one thing that seriously annoyed her. We didn’t do things that annoyed each other. We could feel each others emotions so acutely that it felt normal being inside each others heads.

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“Don’t take photo of my fat belly.”
“I’m not! I’m taking a picture of Floyd.”
“Sure :)”.

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Tinas foot & Floyd.

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These two photos were taken on the eighth of September 2011. We went back to see Trevathan falls, because last time, there was so much water coming down those falls that we couldn’t get anywhere near them. Imagine at least five metres of water over Tina’s head and roaring through this little gorge.

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That afternoon, back at the camp. On the site of an old tin mine.

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Back home in Cooktown a day later. Going blonde. She found this wig in the ‘lair’. No, She did not wear it outside :).

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“See? They opened my head up from here, right through to here!”
A series of photos Tina wanted for herself, because She couldn’t see Her kick-arse scar :).

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14 September 2011. Snoozing after a short walk. Her energy levels weren’t huge anymore. Well compared to ‘before’. Tina preferred to watch the dogs & us, and the eagles & the beach.
I remember when Tina was leaving Rocky for Cooktown around February 2011. She told me, “I’m going to soak up my children (and her granddaughter-they were all ‘Her’ children).” I would see her staring at them individually, looking at them from every angle. Burning their images intoย  Her mind.

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27th of September 2011. The side effects of the anti-brain swelling medication was an extreme increase in appetite. Tina went from 58kg in early August, to about 75kg in this pic. I think Her friends up here at some stage thought She must have been getting better. After all, people generally think of cancer as a wasting disease. We generally associate cancer with images of pale, bald, underweight chemotherapy recipients, not fast weight gain.
Brain cancer is insidiously sneaky. This photo was taken not long before Her second series of seizures. It is also the last photo I have of Her on my phone.

I also keep these two close. One was taken some time ago. The other, my daughter took not long after Tina recovered post op.

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I love you my Phoenix. Fly baby.

Five Months

Before we go on … The ‘Cure For Life’ foundation is an organisation that is devoted to finding a cure for brain cancer/tumors. I haven’t looked yet, but their site is
http://cureforlife.org.au
I’ll be having a good look and may offer input about a combinination of Soursop, Paw-Paw and cannabis oil. All three plants’ fruits have been shown to have ‘Cancer killing’ properties in lab and animal testing. Put quite simply, different compounds in all three plants induce death in cancerous cells, without damaging healthy cells. When will human trials be approved? We are talking about three relatively easy to procure or grow, plants. Two are completely legal in every way. Why aren’t clinical trials being conducted now?
Julia Gillard. You could make change. But I seriously doubt you’ll *ever* read this post. You’re a very busy person.
OK. Enough frustraton.

*This was the original post, before I added the above*
It has been Five months now since my Baby flew with the eagles. I thought I’d put some pics up here today (which was Wednesday). They’ve been up before. Some of them at least. Maybe some of you might like them. Eight months of photos of my sweetheart. We really didn’t like having our photos taken, so consider these rarities. Photos taken between March and October 2011.

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On the 13 March 2012 at the Barron River rest stop, just East of Mareeba. This was when Jimmy blew a gasket & Phil came to our rescue. He helped us out with some cash & we got Jimmy running again. We spent a week here if I recall correctly.

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On the 21st of March, we got down to the Little Annan crossing for a look. Tina made a cairn in honour of the kids. She left many of these in random places.

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22nd of March, on Grassy Hill Cooktown. She was so happy to be here. She beamed. Couldn’t get the smile off Her face.

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In April, Tina got her first ‘commissioned’ art job. Painting the croc at Pam’s Place in Cooktown. Croc gets decorated for special days, a trend Tina started with Easter, then Mothers Day (with Marys sewing skills assisting).
On Australia Day 2012, Scott and Ahdee from Pams Place decorating Croc with flags and stuff.

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Walking on Finch Bay beach. Looking for pretty things ๐Ÿ™‚

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Remember the ‘Planking’ controversy? We staged our own little protest. This was Tinas effort. Pretty brave to plank a Croc.

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At ‘The Top Pub’ on the 27th of May 2011. With a bunch of the banana workers, & Mary our Estonian pseudo-daughter, with Tina at the end of the table.

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On the same night with Thomas Lakefield. He was the third person we met in Cooktown. A gentleman.

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The next day we headed for Cedar Bay. Tina was checking the depth of Gap Creek, plus checking for big rocks. The clear water was very deceptive. That rock base was rough.

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On the way out of Cedar Bay, we took a photo of this old boat wreck.

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30th of June 2011. At our home, with Andre, ‘Legend of the North’. This is the last photo on my phone of Tina before our world collapsed.

And then…our Sister Kathy, & the kids, have a heap of photos of Tina in Townsville. This phone had mysteriously died while we were there. Here are some photos of photos.

In a lot of these, Tina was mucking around with Her kids. You need to realise that these were taken about a week after the operation. The first ones were taken about three days after the op. Tina recovered amazingly well, even surprising the surgeons.

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With me

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With lil sister Tracy

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Tina, Her brother Paul, Tracy, and Her big sister Kathy.

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Tina and Her youngest daughter, Loren.

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Her big brother Mark, with Loren and Lillian, my youngest.

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Kathy and Tina after they shaved their heads.

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Tina and her photo window. She had the most loving, bright bedspace in the hospital.

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Tina and Her Boy, Alex.

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Playing ‘Face-Off’ in the lift.

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This was Her, “I’m brain damaged’ look to scare hospital visitors ๐Ÿ™‚ .

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It’s sideways, but this is a little more ‘normal’.

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Tina & I. “More photos? Aaaw but…”

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Tina & Loren again.

I don’t have any pics of Sarah or Vicki, or Ella with Tina ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

I think that’s enough photos for one post. I’ll pop some more up in another post sometime. From when we came back to Cooktown.

I hope you get a smile from some of these photos.

A Change of Venue

Hi gang
First up, it’s been just over 12 months since Tina and I left Rockhampton. We left, if I recall correctly, on the 2nd of March 2011. We had big ideas on what we were going to do with the rest of our lives when we started our journey. Go back to the start of this blog & you’ll get an idea of what we had planned.
As most of you know, things didn’t happen the way we thought they would. In fact the past 12 months have felt like a lifetime. A lifetime of joy, and a lifetime of heart wrenching sorrow. It has also been just over four months since I lost my best friend to cancer.

I’ve made a decision about The Green Bus. I’m going to leave this blog as it is for now. No more new posts for a while. This was Tina’s baby. She had planned for it to be a showcase of what every day people were doing around Australia in terms of self-sufficiency & renewable energy. It was never really meant to be what it has become, a record of loss & sorrow, and random travelogues from me. So for now (things may change in the future), The Green Bus shall be parked up like Jimmy the four wheel drive.
I am starting something new, called ‘InVivamus’. In Vivamus is latin for, ‘The Gypsy’. I may at times cross-post, or I may even export some posts from here to there. The Green Bus will stay though. It is Hers & and I still need to go back and read those early posts of Tina’s.
She was a woman with strong views about the sustainability of this planet, & besides her art, this is one of those things that shows what a beautiful soul She was.

You won’t find anything on http://invivamus.wordpress.com just yet. I’ll let you know here and on Twitter & Facebook when it’s ready. I’m a really experienced procrastinator, so don’t expect anything for a few days.

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You

I don’t want anything. I don’t want a DSLR. I don’t want a laptop. I don’t want another car. I don’t want any fucking thing. I want you back. I want to see you smile. Hear you laugh. I want smell your scent. I want to hold while we drift off to sleep. I want to sit with you at sunrise. I want to watch you paint. Or weave vines. I want to watch you as you walk the beach, throwing a stick for Jack. I want to see that look you used to get when you were surrounded by your children. It was a different look. I want hear you say “Hi Bloss” to your grand-daughter again. I want to hear your voice. I want to feel your touch.
Remember how we discussed who should go first (when we were 90 something)? Well, you weren’t supposed to go. You’re stronger than me. You were supposed to deal with this. But you know. I’m glad it wasn’t me because I couldn’t stand to see you feel the way I do. Remember when He took Loren from you? This feels worse. Remember when we found Mum? This is worse.
Remember when we talked about those horrible, horrible things that happened to both of us as kids? This is far worse.
The worst part though, is that I don’t think this physical hurt will stop. I try to think of all the good/fun things we shared as people keep reminding me to do, because that is supposed to ease the pain. But it always comes back to the cold truth and hurting, because you’re not here to share those beautiful memories with.
I will always love you. I will always miss you. You will always be inside my heart and soul.
I wish you were here my beautiful lady. I miss your love, your beauty & your honesty, and I really need you because I’m not very strong without you. I’m not much of anything without you really.

I love you Tina. I hope I made you as happy as you did me, and I wish I could have made you healthy again.

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August 2009 – From Her Notebook

Last night I was checking out an image of a Kite (the feathered kind) on my big Sisters wall on Facebook. It reminded me of how birds always seemed to gravitate towards Tina. I remember her taking a photo of a Willy Wagtail one day in Rocky. She was sitting on the ground with her legs stretched out in front of her when a Wagtail decided to perch on her boot. I still have the pic somewhere. He let her take a couple of pics, had a little chatter, then flew back to where I’d been digging in the garden, to chase a few more bugs.
I was also reminded of a few pages in a notebook that I found while going through our stuff a couple months ago. Back in August 2009, we were staying at certain spots along the Fitzroy River near Rockhampton. Tina had started to write a journal of sorts & this is what She wrote over a few days. Anything in brackets are my additions for clarity:

Mon 10-08-09
We moved yesterday, about 14km from town along Bowlin Rd. But that road is a 4WD track, so chewed up by blokes with their big mud tyres that it’s a 45 minute trip. There is another way to get here, along Port Curtis Road and out to the river, but it is a bit further and takes nearly as long. I don’t think we’ll be able to camp here for long. It takes too long & too much diesel to come all this way (every day). We’ll spend this week looking for somewhere else a bit closer to town I think.
*******
We had a very pretty sight to wake up to this morn. Looking out over the water, the fog hid the opposite bank up around the bend. As Brad said, “It looks like we’re on a lake.” The other bank and the mountains in the distance behind looked like a big island in the centre.
******
It’s raining! For the first time in ages. It’s not going to last long though. The clouds came over & I had plenty of time to make sure everything was covered. I saw it coming over the mountain, and it was just rolling in lazily. It’s stoped now. I can see blue sky again, but there’s still some rain somewhere between here and the mts.
The crows are flying around again after making a big deal of roosting just before it hit. So maybe they know it’s already over.
The rain barely pocked the ground. I can see tiny wet splotches where the raindrops landed, but there’s still more dry ground than wet. My fire is still alight. It’s still raining, but it’s more like mist. The rain on the mountains looks like it’s heading towards town, and the band that came through here I can see retreating Westwards.
I was going to open the back & sit on the tailgate to watch it go, but as I opened the door a scud came through. It’s gone again now but I think I’ll just sit here in the nice dry car & have rest,, in case another one comes through.
******
There’s a pair of finches in the trees next to the car. No, they’re tiny little Honeyeaters. They’re flitting through the trees., one of them performing little aerobatic manoeuvres as he goes. When he lands, he flips upside down and hangs from the branch to eat from the little upside down flowers.
*******
When we came up here yesterday we kept seeing a pair of Whistling Kites circling our car. We were wondering if they were our mates from the last campsite (8km away). When we got here & were checking the place out, the kites kept us in view, circling down close to the car several times. Now, I know that these types of bird are very common in this area, but that’s not a very normal behaviour for them. Usually they’ll fly quite high, & there’s only one bird I know who comes so close…and more recently his mate (at the previous camp, Tina had gained the trust of a pair of kites. They would perch in the ironbarks quite close to the car).
I know that it’s not likely to be the same pair, but it’d be cool if it was. This morning though, while I was listening, his call sounded different. It could be because he’s in a new territory, but I doubt it. I might allow myself to fool myself though. I told Brad yesterday, “You realise that if they’re the same pair we’ll have to name them Gryphonn & Phoenix”. I kind of like that. So from now on that will be their names…whether they’re the same pair or not ๐Ÿ™‚ย  (yep, She drew a smiley face).
*******
The Wrens are in the grass, jumping from stalk to stalk as they check me out. The female was trying to attract my attention this morning, but I’ve only just spotted the male now. He’s beautifully decked out in his finest Black, his little Red vest shining as he puffs out his chest. His full breeding colours and his wifes behaviour this morning suggests they may have set up home somewhere nearby. I’ll have to have a look so we don’t disturb them.
*****
The coolest thing just happened. I took Jack (our dog) for a walk along the river. I was hoping to see some evidence of crabs amongst the mangroves, so that we would have some idea of where to drop the (crab) pot tonight, but I soon forgot about the crabs. I was looking down among the mangrove roots & saw a round, white object floating in the water, trapped. A frisbee! Bargain! “You score Jack”,I told Him. After I found a suitably long stick to retrieve it without wetting my boots, we took the frisbee up to the wide grassy flat just up from our camp. This is the cool part! I threw the frisbee a couple of times & I heard the kite calling. I looked up & he was just there above me, about 4 metres up. He just sort of hung there on the wind, adjusting his wings slightly now and then. His mate was flying lazy circles, much higher up. “Hello Gryphonn,” I said. “Want to play?” I held the frisbee up to show him & he looked at it. Then, when I threw it, he flew above Jack as he ran, then turned and came back when he did! I was spun out! So I did it again…and so did the bird. And he kept doing it, never diving on it or anything, just flying low above Jack … around 3 metres or so, racing him to the frisbee. He did it eight times – I counted. Pity Jack got tired. It was so cool! I’m sure he was playing. I even apologised for not having anything for him to eat. I told him to come back tomorrow & I’ll have somthing. I hope he does.

The Photos I promised

These pics are associated with my previous post.

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Things I See or Three Days of Solitude

Of course this is long! That’s why you could make coffee while the page loaded ๐Ÿ˜‰
I was trying to think of a catchy title, but all the ideas I had were a bit clichรฉ, or just plain weird. For example, ‘Visions of the Tropics’, or ‘My Eyefood’. Then I digresssed and this post became somewhat long and emotional.

Anyway, I’m sitting at Walker Bay beach in the car. I’ve got the pig cooking a fish and vegetable broth. The dogs are under the car, resting and chewing on bones after a run on the beach. It’s around 4pm.

A lone seabird flies North over a steel grey ocean. An approaching early Summer storm flashes and rumbles an ominous greeting. Sol has retreated behind rain filled clouds. The rain has started. Just a gentle drizzle, but although the temperature has cooled slightly, the humidity is wicked.
The pig protects the fire from the rain,so my fish and vegetable broth still simmers gently, aromas of reef fish, sweet potato, pumpkin and herbs waft into the car.

The sea has flattened. Perfectly formed small waves are rolling onto the shore. The lightning charged clouds have headed North West and the sun is almost breaking through.

As the sun sets, the wind and the seas calm further. It’s 6:40pm, but still light. The last rays of the sun are splashing pastel oranges and pinks on the clouds. The ocean is a mix of pinks and greys with shimmers of silver.

One in the morning and the clouds have cleared. The moon throws a sheen on a calm sea.

Dawn. Dead still.
The Sunbirds are serenading their mates. A lonely Cricket calls before daytime takes over.

A school of baitfish leap from the water, chased by some mystery pelagic looking for a feed.

This place is beautiful. I realise now though, that it makes me sad. I knew it as our home, but now it’s just another beach. I can’t keep away though. Too many memories, and that irrational thought that just maybe, I might wake and that horrible nightmare has ended, and she is here again.

In the morning (that’s Tuesday 13 December) I took Jack and Floyd for a long walk up the beach. I went for a swim in the shallows & tossed a stick for Jack. Floyd ran amok as usual. He loves playing with Jack & I on the beach. The Smithfield Cattle dog shows in him. He crouches low and eyes up his target, then starts to stalk and suddenly races toward his quarry! He doesn’t stop either. For a full two hours he ran backwards and forwards and up and down the beach, chasing wayward leaves, or a crab that was caught by surprise. He’s learning the stick thing too.

As we headed back to the camp, I was thinking how I hadn’t seen an eagle since I got back here early November. When we were both here, eagles would greet us wherever we went. It used to happen down South too. However, since Her funeral I hadn’t seen one. As I walked, I looked up from looking for shells and not 20 metres in front of us was an eagle on the beach harrassing a crab. It took flight and landed a little further down the beach and watched us. This time it waited until we were less than 10 metres away before it tok flight again and landed in a beach she-oak. There it stayed and watched as we continued down the beach. I saw it again, late this afternoon, cruising South over the camp to somewhere unknown.

I don’t know if I mentioned it in a previous post, but when I first came back here after Tinas funeral, I discovered that our Sunbird friends had nested at our old camp/home site.

I cooked up a hearty bean and vegetable soup this afternoon. I’ve actually been eating food almost regularly this past two days. Healthy food even. In town I was forgetting to eat, sometimes for a couple of days. I need to focus on my health more, so I don’t turn into an old man too early ๐Ÿ˜‰

After an emotional day (up and down like a yo-yo as usual), it’s 09:11pm (21:11) and I’m watching the most stunning lightning show. I just saw a freighter get struck in the channel 9 kilometres out to sea.

The wet season is nearly upon us now. Thunderstorms are common any time of day. Sudden driving rain momentarily cooling us a breeze and some rain, but in between storms the air becomes thick and still. Like a Swedish sauna. Crocodile free creeks are talked about in longing terms. An hours drive to a waterfall is well worth it this time of year. Air conditioners work overtime as locals escape the humidity and the sandflies that take over when the breeze drops.

10:50pm. (Tuesday) this lightning show is getting even more impressive. I think the Archer Point lighthouse just got struck. Three big strikes made water or vessels out on the ocean and right now I would nearly give my left leg for a good dslr! I’ve got a tripod, so I’m nearly set. ๐Ÿ™‚ The storms have been coming from the South West and look like they’ll go all night. I haven’t had much rain here, but I heard on the radio that Cooktown airport has had over 45mm today. The airport is about 20km inland from here. It looks like Cooktown itself may have copped a fair bit too.

Update 11:05pm. The most active part of this storm (that’s on land) is heading directly towards me. The wind has picked up significantly (it’s blowing). I was kind of hoping for a lightning strike on the beach, but considering how exposed this big hunk of metal is…I’m parked 20 metres off the beach next to a she-oak and not in our old protected site…I wonder what might happen ;).
Ah well, I’ll know within the hour. I’ve been watching the mountains to the South disappear in the downpour when the lightning makes the sky like daylight. The bulk of the rain is just coming over the hills on the Southern end of the bay. I’m roughly 5km from there. As the gusts increase, the cuttlefish bone I put on the roof earlier rocks. It sounds like a bird running on the roof ๐Ÿ™‚ .

11:20pm: I took the currlebone off the roof. The lightning is close enough now that I am avoiding contact with any metal on the car. Normally I would move under cover, but it’s too late to pack stuff up. I’ll just enjoy the show ๐Ÿ™‚
It’s 11:40pm, and this storm is just teasing me. The wind has dropped and there is a gentle breeze. The lightning is mainly moving of shore to the North. It’s still an excellent show though.

01:30am Wednesday 14 December

The show has moved North, so it is sleep for me.

Wednesdayย  11:40am

The Sou’ Easter has kicked in again with 20 knot winds. The sky is clear, with some cloud forming out West. This morning was dead calm and hot. It was over 30C at 9 this morning and the March/Marsh flies & sandflies were rank. Jack, Floyd and I escaped to the water to cool down a bit. The sea was still and clear, so I swam out a bit but Floyd followed me so I went back to the shallows. He gets all panicky and tries to climb on my head the little bugger ๐Ÿ™‚ . After our walk and swim, I sharpened my knives, machete & axe, and now I’m tossing up on another swim or a nanna nap…

…and the nanna nap won.
I went for a swim after my nap,then collected some firewood for an early dinner. I got the fire going and prepared some noodles *and* rice. The pantry supplies are shrinking (roll on Friday) and I don’t have enough water left to waste on damper, so it’s very basic tonight. As I was waiting on the noodles,I listened to the news on the radio. A couple of lads got stung by irikanji jellyfish today down near Cairns. Looks like oceanย  swimming is off the list for now. For those who don’t know, Irikanji are a small, about the size of the end of your little finger or a large pea. They also have long trailing tentacles which pack a wallop. The initial sting is barely noticeable,but around 15 minutes later the venom lets you know! Initial treatment is to douse the sting trails in vinegar, and if stung, a visit to the hospital is generally required. Yes, Irikanji stings can be fatal.
So, I reckon my next escape from town will be down near the Little Annan crossing. No stingers, no sharks and no crocs.
๐Ÿ™‚

I have added a few cloudscapes that entertained me on Wednesday arvo. The sun went mad with the light paint hey?

A friend popped down about 6:30 tonight. He’s heading South for Christmas in the next couple of days. I would jump a lift, but I have things I need to do in town, and a dear friend is leaving soon and I may not see her for a while. I have learnt more of the treasure we call family and friends over the past four months, and I care for this person more than I thought.ย  Maybe because I have seen the beauty inside her heart. I also think that my headspace has contributed to these feelings, so I’m not trusting my feelings too much at the moment,which confuses me even more! Anyway, Maddy has scored a job with a tour company out at Uluru! It’s official now so I can say it here ๐Ÿ˜‰
Her start date hasn’t been confirmed yet as far as I know,but it will be early new year she thinks.

Christmas in Rocky or Burrum Heads is looking doubtful at the moment because I can’t/won’t leave the dogs behind this time.
Besides, I am paying back some debts this week which will leave me pretty broke for the fortnight. I think between Christmas and New Year will be more realistic for me budget wise.
Christmas doesn’t feel good this year for me, but I’m going to miss my kids though ๐Ÿ˜ฆ .

8pm: Another brilliant lightning show off the coast tonight. The freighters are copping it in the channel again.

You know how I wrote about me feeling that this is now just another beach? Well, I retract that. This beach is so much more than that. This was our home because we thought it was a beautiful place. It still is, and it always will be ‘our’ home. It’s taken three days to let it all soak back into my soul and it feels good.

8:20pm: Well that was a surprise. I’ve been watching the storm out over the ocean and a real nice lightning storm has snuck up behind me. Very slow and menacing ๐Ÿ™‚ One close strike just lit up the beach and dunes,and the wind has changed direction. I’ve put the lid on the fire pig and put my dry wood under the car. This is right over me. Barely a breeze, but super impressive lightning and thunder ๐Ÿ™‚ . It’s dead quiet except for the waves and ominous rumblings in the sky…
08:30pm
…the humidity has just shot through the roof. Thunder rumbles distantly from that storm in the ocean, challenging the one above me to a contest of electrical brilliance. So far,my storm has stayed silent, no doubt building up something impressive.
My storm responds with three, then four strikes, and follows up with two more a minute later.

The sea is very calm, as is the air. Surprising really. With this much activity, I expected big rain and a lot of wind. But then,I’m used to Southern Summer storms. These pre-monsoon things are like a warning. But sometines they do dump a deluge. Official figures for Cooktown were 47mm at the airport yesterday. It’s also a time to be very,very wary of crocodiles. This sort of weather is the mating trigger. Males and females get very aggressive and territorial this time of year. No time to be creeping around river banks and swamps.

It’s nearly 9pm and my storm is firing at about a strike every 5 seconds or so on average. They’re close enough that I can feel the thunder ๐Ÿ™‚
It is getting more intense as it heads over the coast and out to sea. Now the breeze is picking up, easing the oppressive humidity.ย  The ocean is still gentle, caressing rather than slapping the sand as the small waves roll down the beach.
My storm just roared. The thunder rolled out to sea for over thirty seconds!

My storm has stretched out over the sea in much the same position as those clouds in the south facing pics below. It’s reached out to envelop the small storm and has been celebrating its success with a huge flash along the coast just south of me.

In the distance I can hear wind blowing through the she-oaks, getting closer. The sound of heavy rain on the water maybe?
After a short lull,the light show has re-intensified, the sea is keeping up its steady, gentle rythmn on the beach.

My storm has continued out across the ocean and our reef, all the while showing off its electrical energy. The clouds are breaking here on the coast, and stars are beginning to show. The Southern Cross should rise soon,as will the moon. Clouds have blocked the moon nearly every night since the lunar eclipse.

How do I describe this moon when my camera can’t?
A blood red half moon, with a few thin slivers of cloud slicing through it, looking like Jupiter.
I wish I could show you the view I have. The Moon has gone orange and is casting a golden shimmer over an almost glasslike sea.
A Dolphin shaped cloud is now leaping across the moons face.

At around 11:00pm, four friends turned up with an esky full of beer and JB bourbons. The consensus was that seeing it was my last night out here for a while, they should help me enjoy it! ๐Ÿ™‚ Well, the night was long! We had to build a few smudges around the camp to keep the mozzies at bay due to it being a very gentle Westerly breeze, which brings the biteys out of the bush.
As the night wore on it became very calm, just after dawn, the sea ‘glassed out’. On parts of the horizon, the glass sea merged seamlessly with the sky. Photos below.
A few of us went for a swim. It was low tide, so the water was only waste deep fifty metres out. Plus, the water was so still and clear that nothing suspect could be missed. We just lay in the water and enjoyed the start of a beautiful day ๐Ÿ™‚ . One of the girls was watching us from the beach and said that it looked like we were floating above the water due to the glass out. Also a testament to how clear the water was, because she was standing at least 50 metres away from us. Stunning stuff ๐Ÿ™‚

The weather began to blow from the South East around 11 in the morning. I chose to err on the side of caution and stay one more night. I did imbibe quite a bit last night ๐Ÿ˜‰ and don’t need or want a DUI conviction. Besides, it’s quieter out here and easier to sleep.

Well, that’s three/four days of my life on the Interwebz once again. If you got this far without getting too bored, I thank you.

It’s just after 10pm on Thursday nightย  (15 December) and I’m waiting for the moonrise once again. Tomorrow will be a busy day with paperwork to fill out and stuff. Thanks again for reading ๐Ÿ™‚
I will only post a couple of pics here. My next post will be all photos from the three days ๐Ÿ™‚ .

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Back to Home – Walker Bay

I went back home on Monday afternoon and stayed for the night.

Yesterday (the 20th) marked 31 days since my rock, my baby, my inspiration, my lover, and my best friend became one of the many who lost their life to a potentially curable brain cancer. She was a sister, a niece, a grandmother, an auntie, a friend, a mother, and a ‘stepmum’ to many. She touched the hearts of, and inspired scores of people.
A lot of you may not know, but on the night of her funeral, a whole bunch of people went to the wharf in Cooktown to fare her well. I love these people.

I talked with Tina through the night when I went home to Walker Bay. I told her how much I love her, miss her and wish so much that I could hold her one more time. I talked about many things. I also cried. A lot.

I also talked about a friend.
Besides my trip to Laura driving the bus, I had been somewhat reclusive. To the point where I think I’ve watched 20 or more DVDs that I haven’t seen previously. Now, my dear friend Dragon has tried to entice me to the pub more than once to get me out of the house. I did go up once. But I don’t do pubs with blokes easily. Too much testosterone for me. I prefer female company. I always have. Most of my younger years were spent with my mum and 2 sisters. Dad worked away most of the time. There were other issues that only a few people know that makes me feel more comfortable around women than men. Or more trusting?ย  It’s deep.

Anyway, this friend. She has unknowingly helped me get out of the house. Certain factors have led to her not coming to the lair. While she was coming around I was enjoying talking with her. She’s one of my back waxing friends. Anyway, I’ve been getting out ever since the back wax, and have been spending some time out with her. No, not like that, like mates. But, she (sorry, won’t say her name) has shown me something special. She just knows that to be there is all it takes. I would still be in the house, surrounded by four walls & not here at the beach if not for her.

No. She isn’t here. It’s just me and the dogs.
What I wanted to write was, ‘M’, thankyou for being a friend. You have a beautiful soul. As I said before, your smile and your company lifts me.
But nothing suss :). She is my mate!
Of course, If I was 20 years younger and circumstances were different, I’d chase her all over town until she had me charged with stalking ๐Ÿ˜‰

Seriously though, I hope she realises how important her friendship is to me.

A Birthday Is Had

I turned 48 years old today.
Normally I wouldn’t be too bothered about it. But fuckit. I’m going to use it as a day to cut loose and have fun. Think of it as day one of a new journey. My best friend will be with me. I will always have her with me.

I’ll be going into Cedar Bay again before December. I won’t be taking any of her ashes, but I have a shell from there that I will return. She found the shell there and it carries a part of both our spirits.

The aerial photo is of The Bay looking from the Sth West.

Anyway. That’s enough for now my friends. I have a birthday to be had ๐Ÿ™‚

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